Pumpkin Wings

I know I have been thinking about a lot of stuff I wanted to write about here, but I don’t remember much of it atm, and I don’t want to waste a day when I’m actually feeling really good ranting about stupid shit, so here’s just an update to keep this alive.

Right, I got a letter today from my old school, they’re taking me in again this autumn. Yes, I re-applied. I might have dropped out twice already the last two years, but I do feel more motivated this year, and since I got diagnosed with Asperger I have a completely different kind of support. I don’t want to lean on that too much though, I want to finish this on my own. I love that school, they have some of the best teachers I’ve met in my life, but the retarded pupils and some crap going on in my life at the time has made it really hard for me.

Other than that, my mood is going up and down unusually much lately. Thinking back a couple of years, I seem to get spring depressions, and I hope it’ll go away when summer comes, even though I hate summer. I can’t stand heat (or warm weather at all really), it makes me physically ill.

The blog, not me, obviously. I hope I’ll never have to change my name again.

So yes, Pumpkin Wings. It isn’t witty, it isn’t clever, it doesn’t exactly mean anything - but it’s stuck with me since I first used it, I think it was for some old crappy website on Geocities or whatever. At least it somewhat stands out. I can’t be bothered to come up with a more interesting name. Damn, why do I feel the need to justify this? It’s name, I like it, there you go.

Still adding fanlistings and joining more. Wow, I totally forgot about how fun it is.

I’ve added a section for fanlistings under the links section to the right (looks kinda lame since it’s part of the blog, but eh I’ll figure something when I manage to make a layout). Currently working on joining and linking more fanlistings, like, actually putting something in all the categories I created.. I’ve always loved fanlistings. However, I guess they aren’t the best way to learn about someone, because I mean I do like all the stuff I join listings for of course, but there might be stuff I don’t love but “only” like, while some stuff I really love is left out because no listing exists for it. That’s just how it is, though, and I’ll be writing a proper “about me” page eventually.

It’s been two weeks since I posted here, which is long enough to annoy me. I have some stuff to write about, but I like to keep to one main subject in each post, so that’ll be later. My pStyle arrived, so expect a review-ish thing of that later.

It’s 3:27 am, and I’m about to go to bed. I just wanted to write a bit about a dream I had last night first. I doubt it’s really a dream that’s interesting to anyone except me, and it is much too long to be explained fully and detailed, but it was a pretty nice and cozy dream, so yeah. I’ll get more or less straight to the point (I’m much too spammy to ever *really* get straight to the point).

So, random stuff happened. At first, I was in some weird school competition. Then I was at a huge mall, buying candy in the candy store, and looking for a tray and possibly some cheap clothes. I also think I took a walk around some cliffs by the water at some point. Anyway. The thing is, there was this guy who was constantly around. At first I just kinda noticed him and thought he was pretty or something, but then somewhere at the mall, I actually started talking to him and stuff, and it turned out he had a girlfriend but was kinda interested in me as well. (I am sure this is connected to Kenneth’s constant spam yesterday about how he’d totally be in love with me if he wasn’t engaged, ha. Anyway, me and Kenneth aren’t really interested in eachother in that way.)

I’m kinda confused about what happened at this point, I think the guy was going to go watch TV with some other guys, but I tied him up or something, and then I just ended up watching the movie with them and getting somewhat snuggly with the guy (in difference to my usual retarded dreams, I was NOT having sex with him or even making out with him). Now what bothers me is, I want to remember who the hell the guy was, but I can’t. I’ve been thinking about it on and off for the whole fucking day, but I’m clueless. It could, of course, be some random guy who doesn’t actually exist, but I have a feeling it wasn’t, especially as everyone else in the dream were people I know. I remember I was watching the TV with three guys, one of which was Tobias’ brother. Naturally, you’d think Tobias was there as well. I don’t think it was him though, he might possibly have been the third guy, but I actually don’t think he was there at all. We were at his house though, even if it looked nothing like his real house. Truth is, I’m trying to figure out if Tobias’ brother was *that* guy, which would sort of bother me. I have ideas about at least three other people that it might be, but I don’t know. It’s so frustrating!

I know, I know, it was just a dream, and chances are it wasn’t a real person, but shit like this bothers me for some reason. I often spend the entire day thinking about the dreams I had the previous night, because my dreams tend to be long, vivid, detailed, and have a hell of a plot. I remember so many things from this dream so incredibly well, I remember all the details and all the items in the stores in the mall, I remember the studio where we had the school contest, the brightly coloured furnishing, the pattern of the tray I bought… Remembering a face shouldn’t be - and usually isn’t - a problem. But now it is. I hate when I can’t remember crucial details, and I hate it extra much when it’s actually about something NICE. Damn.

Yes, yes, silly me. I’m off to bed now, guessing all I can do is hope for an equally nice dream tonight.

Sims 3 didn’t arrive today. That’s OK, I still have lots of Sims left to take screenshots of in Sims 2 (so I can recreate them easier). I’m also going to IKEA tomorrow with mum, my room needs a makeover.

However, my binder has already arrived! It works really well. The edges can be seen if I wear something too tight over it, but I sure don’t need baggy clothes to hide it either. I’m satisfied. I can wear my tight girlie tees without the binder, I’m gonna switch between boobs and not boobs as I feel fit. I never really planned to use the binder every day, just to be able to choose, and to confuse people a bit maybe C: My mum seemed very suspicious about it, she was like “uh, so.. why.. would you get…this?”. I just told her “why not?”. I could had taken the opportunity to tell her, but it didn’t feel good at the moment. Bah.

The binder is a T-Kingdom 690.
Here’s how it looks on:

Just a quick post to keep the blog alive and updated. I’m doing better so far this week. Ordered a binder a couple of days ago, really looking forward to receiving it!

Tomorrow’s the Swedish release day for Sims 3, and I’ve got it preordered, I just hope they’ll have overnight shipping so I get it before the weekend.. So if I’m absent, you know what I’m up to! Though I dunno how much I’ll play the first couple of weeks, as it’s no fun before people start making custom content. Probably I’ll just recreate my old Sims (and wait for people to make custom stuff to help me with hair etc), and explore a bit. I’m even considering trying my hand at making my own content.

I had an awesome dream tonight. I was making out with this guy I found under a bed in a shopping center (yes), not anyone who actually exists as far as I know. Then, as people in my dreams tend to do, he kinda morphed. Turned into some other non-existing guy with hair that looked like Emil’s, but way shorter. Then finally he turned into someone who actually exists, but I’d probably better not mention any names here. Hrhrhr.

Still waiting for my pStyle to arrive, it should get here any day.