I desperately need a new layout, but I suck so much at that stuff. If anything looks weird, it’s probably because I’m trying out different themes, so bear with me.
Edit:
I’m actually doing fairly well! The layout might be simple, and I’ve mostly changed colours and moved stuff around, but never having worked with CSS and shit before I’m actually satisfied. Now I just need to make a header image.
Tell me if anything looks fucked up.
Yup, got them both now, obviously, and I’m also really happy with both.
I was damn scared of regretting cutting off my hair, but as soon as the hairdresser cut off my ponytail we all (me, mum, hairdresser) just knew it was gonna look awesome. She then spent quite a long time cutting it shorter, styling it, and going on and on about how much of an improvement it was and how I looked like someone from Top Model now. Right. Well I haven’t regret it even for one second. It feels weird laying in bed and switching sides, because I’m used to throwing my head to flip all the hair over on the other side, so when I do that automatically now there’s no hair to flip.. Wow I really can’t wait to wash my hair and see how fast it dries, my old hair used to take up to 8 hours (really, no joke). I haven’t washed it yet because I don’t feel like doing too much to my head with the piercing around, but yeah, OK moving on to that.
Getting my industrial went incredibly smooth. I had read a lot of crap about it, like how icky it felt when they put the needle through the first hole to make the second, or how they had to push reeeeally hard to get through the ear, but it really wasn’t that bad. It hurt - yes. It hurt quite badly, but it was NOTHING compared to what I expected and how people describe it. My ear felt warm and hurt a bit for a few hours, but since then I haven’t felt anything at all (except when I wanted to see just how much sleeping on it would hurt. Damn, that pain was NOT exaggerated. Thanks go out to Milla for going with me, and spending a couple more hours hanging out after. Was nice to see her again. By the way, there are two small bars in my ear on the picture, yes. They will be replaced with one long bar in about a month.
I’ve been debating whether to update here or not for a while. The reason is that I actually received an e-mail from Tobias the day after I wrote my last post (not because of the post itself though, but because I contacted Daniel and he found out). It was a long e-mail that contained some useful stuff and a lot of bullshit, and I’ve been debating whether I should tear it apart on here or not, and also thinking about what to write if I decide for it. However, I have now decided against it. Tobias demanded a reply (”at a very minimum a blank e-mail so I know you read this because it’s written for your own good, but you may write as much as you’d like”), and I still didn’t get around to sending one. I’m just so sick of him atm. I will get around to it eventually, and if I get even more bullshit back, you can expect a rant there and then. For now, I’m leaving him behind, at least on this blog. He has his good sides, and we’ve had great times, but this is a side of him that I’ve seen too much of and can’t put up with anymore, and he doesn’t deserve more attention for it.
With that out of the way - again - I’ll go for some other updates. This coming week is going to be eventful.
I’m getting my hair cut really short on Tuesday, and I’m a bit anxious about that. I haven’t had my hair that short since I was like 5, so I’m sure it’ll feel VERY awkward at first, but yeah. I bet Ima cry and whine the first few days becasue it’ll “look horrendous”, but I’m prepared for that. I actually think short hair is going to provide more possibility for variety. I barely dare do anything with my long hair because I’m scared of ruining it, but y’know, with short hair it ain’t that bad. I can even do something I’ve been wanting to do for months now - bleach it completely white. I’d never do that to my long hair since there’s “no turning back”, and it would take aaaages for my hair to grow long enough to have all the bleached hair gone, but with short hair it really won’t take that long. I’m sure I’ll be dying it and such a lot more when it’s short as well. The downside is that I can’t braid it etc, but hey - I’m too lazy for that anyway.
On Wednesday I’m getting an industrial in my left ear. Picked that side simply because I generally sleep on the right ear. Eventually I want to get another earlobe piercing in my right ear, but I don’t think I can afford that right now. I’m a bit anxious about this as well of course, you never know how it’s gonna heal and stuff, but yeah. Hopefully it’ll all go well, and I’m going with Milla which is nice since I haven’t seen her in more than a year. Waaaay too long!
On Saturday morning I’m leaving for London, getting back home Tuesday evening. I’ve barely got any money atm, but fortunately my birthday is August 4th, so my mum is going to give me money for shopping in London as an early birthday gift, and my grandma’s giving me some money as well, AND I’m getting my regular monthly money on like Friday, so yes.. SHOPPING. Woo! I really hope I can find some fun stuff, especially accessories. Man, all the stores here in Sweden sell booooring accessories. Especially the hair clips. I love hair clips! I hope they have some cute ones. Oh, and socks. Ahh. Going to Camden market, of course, and Lina said she knew this street with lots of second-hand stores, so I hope she’ll remember to look that up for me (hint, hint).
That’s more than enough for now. I’ll probably update again when I’ve got my haircut and industrial, and if not, I’ll update when I get back from London.
I didn’t really intend to write anything more about Tobias here unless something really happens, like if I was in contact with him again in some way, but I’m kinda upset now and feel the need to bash him just a bit more.
So, Tobias and his friend Daniel have been working on a script for a movie since uh, I dunno how long, but I was sent a copy of it more than a year ago, so let’s just say ages. Back then Tobias also offered me to play a female character in the movie, and it was kinda settled. Now with stuff happening, I didn’t know if they’d still want me as it might be a bit awkward and Tobias is a big drama queen, so I sent Daniel a message yesterday asking when they’d start filming and telling him that I’d still do my part if Tobias didn’t object. Apparently, they’ve already rewritten the script and started filming, as “Tobias opinion hasn’t changed”. Gee, thanks for letting me know. Also special thanks go out to Tobias for robbing me of the only thing I had planned at all for this summer.
I had a hard time not responding with a rant, but I decided to just let it out here instead. Tobias’ behaviour is a laugh. Really, it is. I still can’t believe he has the nerve to call me “mean and respectless”, after all I’ve done for him and all he’s put me through. I know I’m an annoying person at times. I know I love teasing people. But when it comes to the stuff that really should matter, I’ve been there 100%. I helped him break loose from his ex girlfriend (he was thanking me for months after that). I let him use my e-mail when he was concerned about something very private and wanted to seek help online, but didn’t dare use his own e-mail as it contained his first name. I offered him to stay at my house for the first couple of months he’d be living in Stockholm, since he probably wouldn’t have his own apartment yet. I’ve always been there to listen to his long, long rants about the same stuff. Sometimes I kinda snapped at them when they were just ridiculous, I’ll admit, but 90% of the time I was supportive. After he’d broken up with me last summer/autumn, telling me that I was “trash that he needed to throw away to go on with his life”, I was STILL there when he came crawling back. I was still there, and just the same as before. I tried to understand him. I tried to encourage him to seek help, as he knew himself that he should. When I didn’t talk to him for longer periods I texted him asking if he was fine and reminding him that I was there if he wanted to talk, and usually got a bit of a rant back, which was fine.
I would absolutely love to have someone who did all this for me, I’d be forever grateful. Tobias on the other hand just calmly explained to me that he wasn’t grateful for anything I did, and never would be. I suppose that was nothing but the truth.