Ownership (oh what a splendid title..)
I had a long talk with Daniel on MSN yesterday. (I probably need to invent nicknames as I know so damn many Daniels atm.. This is Tobias’ friend.) We talked about exes and relationships and I dunno.. Feelings in general I believe. I barely remember, I was way too tired and upset. I needed that talk though. I really don’t understand why Daniel hasn’t like, blocked and deleted me yet, but I’m glad he hasn’t.
I’ve been thinking about the stuff we talked about, especially my relationship with Tobias. Daniel told me Tobias has a new girlfriend, which did sadden me, but imagining that Tobias would agree to give our relationship another try I still don’t think I would actually want to. I’m not in love with him anymore, which is of course a good thing. So what’s the problem? I’m starting to think that I have some kind of stupid need to “own” people. I don’t love him, I don’t particularly miss him, but when he manages to find someone else.. Punch in the face. I couldn’t care less about him if he was single; I wouldn’t try to get him back or anything, but THIS bothers me even though I STILL don’t want him back. I just want him to remain available for some reason that is beyond me. It’s actually more or less the same with all my exes, except Emil I suppose, as I actually would take Emil back.
Conclusion: I am a fucking obsessive bitch who wants to own people’s lives. Can’t be healthy.