Pumpkin Wings

The tank is doing well; the water parameters are looking good, the snowball shrimp are active and eat their food. I’ve barely seen the fan shrimps at all but that’s normal. African fan shrimps are very gentle creatures, probably the most harmless inhabitant you can have in an aquarium, and they tend to be very shy a while after you get them. That, and there’s no current in the water yet, we’re buying a filter as soon as the dude we buy stuff from receives the order. I believe they’re doing fine anyway - I’ve seen their antennae waving behing the log where they hide, and I also saw a pile of huge poo next to it so I assume they’ve been eating!

I had a nice birthday. The tank was my main present, but mum also got me two shirts and the obligatory silver spoon (my family has been collecting silverware for me since I was born by giving me pieces on birthdays and Christmas). My grandparents gave me my first silver knife, the envelope for a set of knives, and a lovely turquoise biker-style jacket which was the only other thing than the tank on my wishlist. I also got some money. Emil donated the snowball shrimps - and gave me a remote controlled Mameshiba. Yes, suck on that.

In other news, I’ve got a lot of stuff coming up. On Thursday me and Emil have a meeting together at the habilitation clinic in Norrtälje. They’re gonna give us information about different devices they can offer to help people with Asperger’s in their daily life, and as we both have Asperger’s and both need the information they just booked us both at the same time. A few days later I’m seeing the doctor about sick leave (that’s an English expression I didn’t know, and it sounds odd…) which she’s absolutely positive that I can have starting this semester. I really need some time off school, I haven’t accomplished anything the last five years anyway.

After that meeting we’re having lunch, and then returning for a meeting with the psychologist. I say “we” because Emil follows me to all my meetings, I have a really hard time speaking for myself and remembering stuff at meetings. Someday I’ll probably see the “regular” doctor as well, about a kind of personal problem (it’s not my genitals, don’t get any ideas!)

After Emil and me read up on some mental disorders and syndromes we thought it might be a good idea to ask my psychologist to test me for ADHD and Tourette’s syndrome. I’m all against self-diagnosing (which is why I’m gonna ask for a professional investigation), but me and Emil both do believe there’s more behind the suspicions than just “oh I’m a bit hyperactive, I gotta have ADHD” or “I swear a lot, must be Tourette’s”. Also, they’re both kinda common among people with Asperger’s.

My lovely, lovely psychologist is also looking into associations for transgenderists for me, and until our next meeting she’s getting information about gender investigations and will write me a referral if I’m interested. As bigenderism doesn’t even exist to most people I sometimes get worried that it’s really all in my head, so it would be VERY relieving to have a diagnosis. It would also help me prove to others that it exists and help me come out, especially to my mum.

I know I sound like I’m fishing for lots of diagnoses. I really am not, but the thing is if I DO have any/all of those disorders I want to KNOW about it and get help. I’d rather investigate and learn that I don’t have it than not investigate and not get help.